Thursday, January 20, 2011

Blessed with Encouragement

To the many, many kind friends & strangers that have sent encouraging messages, emails, phone calls  -- THANK YOU!

How blessed I am with so many people that follow our journey & took time to encourage my broken heart.  I am so thankful.  

This blog will not become a "throw-someone-under-the-bus" blog but I will continue to be honest about my own emotional struggles on life's journey.  As I always have been.

This blog is still just me chronicling life as mom to Hannah & Lily.

Nothing has changed.

Well, now I take out the trash .... but the blog is the same.

My mom arrived today (just in time for another Louisville snowstorm!). 

What a blessing my mom has been through these past several years.  Well, really for every day of my life! 

She was such an emotional support through Hannah's illness & now with what is going on.  I am so grateful & truly cannot imagine a mom that did not just love me, accept me & care for me the way she does.  It doesn't mean that my mom doesn't challenge me -- but regardless she loves me.  Unconditional love.  No strings attached kind of love.  Not every girl in this world can boast of a mom like that & I don't take any of her "amazinngness" for granted!! 

The girls are doing great & Hannah thinks she has won the lottery with all these snow days in Kentucky.  The hill in our backyard continues to provide lots of entertainment for sledding adventures.   The girls love each other so much & I just marvel at their tremendous relationship.  They have been doing sleepovers on Lily's floor & even though they are on the floor they both sleep SO GOOD!!  I think it just has to do with being together -- what a gift!!

Last week I talked with a dear elderly lady from our church in California (Maureen Brians, for you PFB'ers).  She is a dear friend of mine & prayed with me on the phone & in her prayer said "Lord, the path to you is not straight ....but we know we are headed to you ...".  She prayed a lot more but her words were such an enouragement ot my heart.  So true -- the path to God is not straight and usually the turns are most unexpected.

I always feel the Lord near me -- even when I am yelling at the windshield in my car because of my current situation.  God knows every bit of my pain, anguish & anger.  I don't try to hide a bit from Him -- he knows my every thought & even the slightest groanings of my heart.  Thank you, Lord, that nothing is a secret from you!!!! 

I am blessed.  Truly.  I wake up & think how thankful I am for two healthy girls, for the family that I was raised in, for life long friends that love me and for blog-mates that come along side to encourage my heart.

Know that all your words of encouragement ministered to my heart -- thank you!!!

Here are some recent pictures of life at home from Lily's small digital camera.

Lily taking pictures of her big sister!  Peace.
 Lily getting ready for a "fashion show".  She dressed herself & came into the living room to show me & Hannah her stuff. 
 And here is her strut as she walks the runway in our kitchen ... hilarious!!!!
 Lily & Hannah going out for some fun in the snow.  Hannah totally looks out for Lily.
 I love how Hannah's hand is behind Lily ... protecting her precious little sister on the snowy walkway!

 Hannah waiting for the school bus to arrive.  Can you believe we have to bundle up here in KY?  A big change!

 Matching skirts and truly happy girls!!

All God's best from Kentucky,


Saturday, January 15, 2011

Letting Go

I am letting go of what people will think ...

Letting go of what people will say ...

Letting go of the fear of being judged when people have no business judging what they do not know..

Letting go of the deceit ...

Letting go of someone that wants to live another life separate from me while I am living this life ...

Letting go of the man that is not the person I thought he was  ...

I am letting go because the shattered trust in my marriage cannot be rebuilt on a sandy beach of half-truths without an ounce of forthrightness ....

So judge me all you want but the Lord knows my heart & my reputation lies before Him.  The Lord knows my pain & He knows what I have endured while protecting the reputation of my spouse.   

For now, the girls & I are figuring this out one day at a time.  Hannah & I have had lots & lots of really good talks and the door is always open.  I am amazed what she sees in all of this -- you just can't fool kids.

If I have learned anything these past few years, it is this: nothing is a surprise to God.

Not one detail of my life comes as a surprise to Him.  He knew all of this before the foundations of the earth & I can trust Him.

Trust Him with what the future holds.

Trust Him for His peace that surpasses understanding.

Trust Him to comfort my broken heart & the hearts of my girls.

Trust Him to do more for my girls than I could ever think or imagine ...   

"I thank you for the bitter things
They've been a friend to grace,
They've driven me from the paths of ease
To storm the secret place."  - Florence White Willett


When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze, For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isa. 43:2-3

Please pray for us as we are walking through an incredibly painful time in our lives ...

All God's best from HOME,

Monday, January 3, 2011

Goodbye Twenty Ten!

I have been busy doing digital scrapbook pages from 2010 (I print these & make albums for each of the girls). 

Here are a few of the pages:

 Forgive me for not blogging more frequently ... not that anyone really cares (right, Blair?  ha, ha!).  

There has been a lot going on but none of it has been caught on film -- my nice digital camera went on strike!!  I will have to rely on Lily as our family photographer.  She is talented as you can tell from my Christmas posting!  

We are back into the swing of things here in Kentucky!  The girls had a great Christmas break with back to back weeks with cousins in PA & Indiana.  What a treat for them!!  For Hannah it was a very extended break due to strep throat the week before break plus school closings due to snow.  Hannah was so super excited to get back to the business of 3rd grade -- she could hardly fall asleep last night.  The joys of life as a healthy 9 year old!! 

I know I say it all the time but the gratefulness I feel for her healthy life is so completely overwhelming.  To see her skip down the driveway (well, actually it was more like a "cat walk"  down the runway) to get on the bus this morning & go to school is still a complete miracle to me.  Not one day goes by without complete thanks & gratitude to the Lord for her life.  Today was no different, particularly as we celebrated her 1 year anniversary "back to school"!!!  Thank you, Lord!!!!!

Tonight at dinner Hannah said "I give this meal a "9".  It would be a "10" if there weren't green beans on the plate."  Oh my goodness ... leave it to Hannah!  The girl cracks me up!!

For breakfast today Lily wanted pizza ... we had pizza last night but there were no leftovers (gee, why??).  She didn't believe there wasn't any pizza left so I pulled out a frozen pizza & we started this week off right: pizza for breakfast!!  I should have served eggs for dinner tonight & we could have called it even. 

God has been so faithful to me in every way & in every situation so no matter what storms lie ahead in 2011, I can trust Him with all my heart & lean not on my own understanding. 

Especially when my understanding is nothing.   

I have no resolutions for 2011 -- just to restfully depend on the Lord.

All God's best from HOME,