Letting go of what people will say ...
Letting go of the fear of being judged when people have no business judging what they do not know..
Letting go of the deceit ...
Letting go of someone that wants to live another life separate from me while I am living this life ...
Letting go of the man that is not the person I thought he was ...
I am letting go because the shattered trust in my marriage cannot be rebuilt on a sandy beach of half-truths without an ounce of forthrightness ....
So judge me all you want but the Lord knows my heart & my reputation lies before Him. The Lord knows my pain & He knows what I have endured while protecting the reputation of my spouse.
For now, the girls & I are figuring this out one day at a time. Hannah & I have had lots & lots of really good talks and the door is always open. I am amazed what she sees in all of this -- you just can't fool kids.
If I have learned anything these past few years, it is this: nothing is a surprise to God.
Not one detail of my life comes as a surprise to Him. He knew all of this before the foundations of the earth & I can trust Him.
Trust Him with what the future holds.
Trust Him for His peace that surpasses understanding.
Trust Him to comfort my broken heart & the hearts of my girls.
Trust Him to do more for my girls than I could ever think or imagine ...
"I thank you for the bitter things
They've been a friend to grace,
They've driven me from the paths of ease
To storm the secret place." - Florence White Willett
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Please pray for us as we are walking through an incredibly painful time in our lives ...
All God's best from HOME,
oh Debbie, may God hold you in His loving arms.
ReplyDeleteI have been drawn to your blog for a year (or two?) now and have never posted. Just wanted to say that you have been through a terrible time (understatement). I will pray for you and your family...things must be really hard right now. Hang in there and take care of yourself and those precious girls.
ReplyDeleteMelissa
I've been reading your blog for over a year and I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. I have been down a similar road and I know how hard it is. One day the sun will come out and you will feel the warmth. Life does go on and you and your girls will flourish in the end. Hang in there. It does get better.
ReplyDeleteKat
I have read your blog since you got the referral for sweet Lily. I will pray for you and your girls as you go through this rough time. I can only imagine what you have been though but the pain is so deep in your writing. I haven't ever posted much but just know I am praying for you that God may show his glorious plan that he has for you and the girls for he makes no mistakes only miracles. You are a strong person and will raise your girls to be the same. Be very proud of who you are, always.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I will be praying for you and the girls. We met at breakfast the day you were getting Lilly and we were leaving Changsha later that evening for our last leg of the trip. I have followed your blog and tried posting several times but not sure if it ever went through. You have had a rough couple of years and I have prayed for you during these times. I will continue to uphold your family in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSo sad, Debbie... I will pray for you....
ReplyDeleteHildeS, Norway
Praying for you and your girls!!! I have followed your blog since your trip to China - you are an amazing, resilient and strong woman! God will lead you through all of this - just like the verses you quoted... God Bless you all!
ReplyDeleteMary
I first read your blog about 2 years ago and have prayed for your and your family ever since. I trust the Lord will guide your path and give you the strength each step of the way. Blessings, Diana
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. You will be in my prayers. I have followed your blog for a while. Your strength and faith has always inspired me. Your daughters are so precious. May you all find healing and comfort from God.
ReplyDeleteI would like to say that we recently returned home from China with our new daughter. We have a Lily, too. When I was stuck in the never ending wait, your precious Lily gave me so much hope. Thank you.
Oh Debbie, I've been reading since a tweet from a relative led me to send Hannah letter when she was in the hospital.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are going through this and will pray that you are given the strength and wisdom that you need to get through it.
My husband and I went through this after 12 years of marriage, 3 kids. Every situation is different, but we managed to reconcile and are going on 32 years. Lord knows that I don't know your situation, but I will say that God has an amazing ability to work miracles of healing on relationships, too.
Prayers, hugs and good thoughts to you and the girls.
Debbie,
ReplyDeleteI have kept up with your blog and remember the night you prayed with me at the Women's Retreat in Capistrano. Funny, we prayed for me to "let go" of those things I can't control. While I am no stranger to broken relationships (I had gone through a pretty nasty divorce before coming to PFB), it never ceases to amaze me how the enemy creeps into our lives and causes destruction and how God uses it for good in the end. Whatever the case, and I don't know the details of yours, I am praying for the good in the end, praying for the things you can't control, praying for your beautiful girls, and praying for your beautiful heart. In the end, when you have been refined by the fire, I am sure God will say "Well done, good and faithful servant." Hang in there.
Love, Lisa Ross
Dear Buzz,
ReplyDeleteOur hearts ache for you and your family. You are an incredible witness of relying on God in the midst of trials. He is our strength when we are weak. Although you are a mighty woman of God, allow yourself to lean on Him during this time. Your girls will follow your cue. We love you and are praying for all of you. xoxoxox
You are good and you are not alone. God is with you always and so many of us readers have been in your shoes at one time or another. May God bless you now and always. Many hugs sent your way.
ReplyDeleteWith love,
Sending you big hugs Debbie....I have followed your blog for awhile now. I have a bio son and 2 daughters, one from Vietnam and one from China. I am sorry for what you are dealing with. <3
ReplyDeleteJanice
I have followed your blog for quite some time now. I am so saddened and sorry for what you are going through right now - especially after all you have gone through the last several years. God is with you and your girls. Prayers are being said...
ReplyDeleteMy heart is with you. You are a fabulous Mom who has managed to place nothing but true love in those girls hearts. You are not alone. I am sending lots of love and prayers your way. I know that God has you in the palm of His hand and everything will be okay=0)
ReplyDelete