What am I supposed to be feeling right now? Not sure. But really, most of me just feels sick that we are actually nailing down a schedule for Hannah's bone marrow transplant at Seattle Children's Hospital. It just can't be. It can't be that we are quickly approaching a year of her illness & she needs to have a BMT.
I talked with our Kaiser coordinator today & it turns out Seattle will be doing all the pre-testing (they require us doing it up there with them). It looks like we have to be in Seattle the first week of November for all of her testing to be done on an outpatient basis. They will be doing LOTS of tests to get a baseline on all of Hannah's organs before the transplant. Hannah will then be admitted to the children's hospital right before Thanksgiving to have chemo & radiation. It is hard to even type that. Just unreal. Her transplant date is currently scheduled for either 11/30 or 12/1.
On another note, we went to clinic today to check Hannah's blood levels & make sure her platelets have not dropped. Her numbers were again stable (still low) but her numbers have not dropped dramatically like they usually have for the past 10+ months. Who knows??? Maybe her bone marrow is finally getting back with the program. I don't know. We won't really know until they do a bone marrow biopsy in Seattle. At that point, they can see what is going on at a cellular level inside her bone marrow. If her bone marrow is doing well, we can turn around & come home. It is not too late so please keep praying that Hannah's bone marrow will be back.
I am thankful we have a perfect match donor. So thankful. I know many people wait a long time to find a perfect match donor but I am still praying that we can avoid the BMT. I still have hope that the ATG will kick in & Hannah can get back to normal life without a BMT. That is my heart's desire but no matter what the road is, I trust the Lord. I am scared. Really, who would I be kidding to say that I am not scared -- I get nervous when Hannah rides a roller coaster at Disneyland, why would I not feel scared for her to have chemo, radiation & a BMT? I have my fears but I do trust the Lord. I know with all of my heart that my Hannah's life is completely in the hands of our Heavenly Father.
Lily is at Kim's tonight with a runny nose & a cough. Hannah seems to maybe be fighting something as well .. she is starting to sound like she has a cold to me, she has been sneezing & now telling me her throat is sore. Oy. Who knows .. maybe we will win a trip to the hospital this week? I sure hope not .. we have some big plans this weekend!!!
If you pray for our family (which I know many of you do), please pray specifically that Hannah's bone marrow would miraculously kick into gear within the next 6 weeks. Until they start the chemo it is not too late to avoid a BMT.
All God's best from HOME --
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Debbie,
ReplyDeleteI am PRAYING!
This verse was given to me this morning, and I want to share it with you!
"With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ." ~2Thessalonians 1:11-12
Debbie, I will continue to lift your precious family up while you walk this journey. I pray you find comfort in knowing you are not alone.
Love,
Diana
Debbie dear, we are pleading daily for just that -- that the Lord WILL let this "cup" of the transplant pass from you all, and that Hannah will have an 11th hour rescue from the BMT. . . but we are also, with you, punctuating that prayer with "Nevertheless, Thy will be done. . . " We love you are with you every day in prayer and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I was sick reading your post. I am so sorry your family must walk through this valley. I know there are no words that any of us can say to make things feel "right" However I'll let you know I am praying for you family! He is an amazing God and he will carry your family through this!You are an inspiration to all of us who have had the blessing to "find"your blog. We see His light shining through you and your family! I pray he pours out his richest blessings on you and yours!
ReplyDeleteBlessing,
Kim
Wow, Debbie! Praise the Lord for a match for Hannah and for great medical insurance! You guys have been through so much this last year! I pray that this next chapter with BMT goes smoothly and that Hannah's body responds well to ALL treatment.
ReplyDeletewill do, debbie!
ReplyDeleteWe will continue to pray-- for God to heal Hannah's bone marrow and not need the BMT. It was so good to see you the other day, even if it was just a moment. We're all a bit sick right now, but when we're better we'd love to see you all.
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